After 13 Years of Letters and Emails, Penpals Finally Meet, Sparking Wholesome Romance and Proving That True Love Still Exists

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 31, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

In the high-speed, digital world we live in today, it can be easy to buy into the idea that romance is dead. If you have any experience with online dating, swiping through Tinder or Hinge, and going on dates with products that did not match the advertisement, so to speak, then you may be left quite feeling quite wary of the modern dating scene. However, despite how alienating it can feel to drift from post to post, reading thousands anonymous comments, and putting likes on the Instagram reels of people you will likely only encounter through a screen in a 15 second video, the internet is ultimately a place of connection. Without it, you might not know where the mean girl from high school ended up, and if you're the protagonist of today's story, you might not have kept in touch with your middle-school pen pal long enough to find true love. Read the heartwarming story below if you want you are in the mood for a real-life fairy-tale. 

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  • 01
    BO RU r/BORUpdates • u/Shar... 5d All the grace of a cow on st... I'm (23F) in love with my penpal (27M) and have been for years. I'm now in his country for a little bit. How do I tell him?
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 02
    I'm (23F) in love with my penpal (27M) and have been for years. I'm now in his country for a little bit. How do I tell him? I am originally from Argentina and have been writing letters back and forth with a boy from the United States for about 13 years now. When I was younger our school received letters from a class in America and we sent some back. Barely anyone in my class got sent more than one, but my partner and I kept sending letters and did for about three years. Then we started sending e
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 03
    We have video chatted here and there, and it's weird because we have dated other people in this time, but I've never been able to be serious with anyone because I want my first everything to be with him. We used to voice call almost every day on my walk back from class because it lined up with his commute from work. But then he got into a relationship and the pandemic he didn't commute and couldn't talk to me as much with a girlfriend. He is single now.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 04
    My problem is he definitely views me as a little sister. Argentinian school programs are very long versus the USA, and he graduated early because of advanced classes before uni, so I have been a student for a long time compared to him. He also lives a very different life than me. He runs every morning, goes to the gym a lot, is a tall and strong person with high activity and a lot of friends. I am very frail from a muscle disease I got when I was younger and did physical therapy for a long time
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 05
    My employer had an opportunity to work on site in New York City, and I applied for it and got it. I moved like a week ago and am in company supplied housing for the next six months. I want to meet him in person for the first time and tell him how I feel, but I am very afraid he won't feel the same. I never told him about it or that I'm here, but we always talk about how he should visit me or I should visit him and how he'd show me this city.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 06
    I want to just visit his apartment like in the telenovelas but I know that is awkward. He bought a really really nice apartment during the lockdowns and I often joked I would like to see it in person and he always said to stop by and it was funny because I obviously couldn't being so far away, but now it is a subway away. I think it is worth taking the chance and risking our friendship because I don't feel like I can move on with my life without at least trying. How do I approach?
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 07
    Comments Glum Variety_5943 Invite him to lunch, so you can meet in person on neutral ground. Give you both time to feel out how you interact in real life. OOP: Yes I have learned from reading all the replies to be calm and have simple expectations. It will be weird for sure, cannot expect it to be perfect fairy tale.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush, u/Glum_Variety_5943
  • 08
    xOmbigrl Definitely just hang out first and roll with the vibes. One step at a time. Please update!
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush, u/x0mbigrl
  • 09
    **Update - 20 hours later ** Just got back home and done updating my friends. It went really well, I will agonize over one or two moments tonight, but it was basically perfect. We got breakfast at a place a few blocks from me, and he got there like a minute before me and we hugged at first sight which was exactly what I needed to feel comfortable and know it wouldn't be too awkward.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 10
    It felt like talking to any of my best friends or family and felt just as casual as when we talked through text or facetime. HE HAD STORIES SAVED UP. Like he said there's a bunch of stories he always wanted to tell me but that you need to do it in person so you can see how the other person responds or because it makes the story more intense. I definitely made it clear I like him though and he didn't say anything to stop me from being a little flirty. He also paid for me which I took as a nice si
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 11
    We walked around a bit, but I struggled a lot. Not even because of me, but despite wedge shoes he was like 15cm taller and has a bigger stride, and he walks like New Yorkers so very fast. He slowed down for me but every once in a while he would speed up to pass a smoker. We ended up passing a clothing store and he got me sneakers, I was afraid of it because I do not make a lot and cannot afford much, I'm basically on Argentina pay here but housing is free. He bought them for me and I made a whol
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 12
    We got into some deep talk accidentally a few times. I joked that I was thinking of surprising him last night, and he said he's glad I didn't (thank you, commenters) because his flight back was canceled so he was on standby all day and was at the airport when he called me last night. He works for a startup and his boss flew her family and my penpal to Miami because the company is starting to talk buyout and she told my penpal to think of a Florida house for the taxes? Plus her kids go to the uni
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 13
    So we started talking about like what do we want to do when we are older and where do we want to be. And I was worried because on TV Miami is a very like party city and he said that was his concern too but that there are nice quiet areas and suburbs to raise a family. His grandparents also live in Florida now and they raised him when his parents died, so he said he was also thinking other states but that Florida made the most sense. He did joke he liked the idea of moving to Miami because he lik
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 14
    We also talked about the love/hate so far with New York and how it's so busy and has everything but also is loud and looks hard to raise a family. When I said I could never live here long term he asked if I meant New York or America and I clarified New York and he asked if I'd really ever be okay with leaving family back home in Argentina and I said yes very quickly haha because Argentina is in a bad spot economically and my family can always visit me if I get a good job in America that can pay
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 15
    There are also Messi Argentina and Barcelona and now Miami shirts EVERYWHERE. So every time we would see one we'd call it out and it just felt really fun walking around with him. There's these like carts pulled by bikes that play really loud music and I've never felt so comfortable in my life that music could make me move and I felt like shimmying up to him whenever they passed by.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 16
    So it went very well. He invited me over for dinner next week and I said I'm free tomorrow which for me is next week but was super awkward that I just said that out loud as he definitely meant like Thursday or something so I will remember that tonight as I stare at the ceiling but he said Sunday works and that he will get some ingredients tonight.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 17
    Comments violetsarenotsoblue GUUUURRRRRRLLLLL omg this is so exciting for you and i'm kinda living vicariously through you lol so pls update us again!! sounds like a really fun first date and i soooo get the overthinking but it think you did REALLY well!! fingers crossed for the 2nd date :)))
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush, u/violetsarenotsoblue
  • 18
    Update -5 days later Late night update to original comment here. Can't sleep and also didn't want to distract from the actual questions here so let's do this late at night. A lot of people wanted an update on how things went since we met, I gave a quick word river of thoughts on Saturday here and then for Sunday to now-
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 19
    It's been a whirlwind to say the least. Sunday I went to his place for dinner really early. I texted him I was bored and asked if I could hangout there, and he's like sure. He has a really nice apartment in the flatiron and it was something I always would imagine what it looked like. He runs a clean home, and you can tell it's not the kind of clean that someone just put together. When we did the tour, I went through his closets and it's basically only work or gym clothes which I thought was funn
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 20
    We went to some vuori store and I didn't realize at first how much things cost, I just browsed and said what things looked nice as someone set up a trial room. When I found out that it was so expensive I almost threw up and I felt like I wasted his time even coming here, but between the rush of trying things on and him telling me I looked cute in it messed with my brain and he did get it all for me. And it was a lot. Like I'm embarrassed to say how much it was that's how bad it was.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 21
    We went back and he cooked dinner, which he said he enjoys because he works a lot, almost always past dinner, so he'll often have a "cooking call" with his coworkers where they're either off camera or on camera and everyone's picking up their kids from camp or cooking or at the gym or whatever else. It was probably the fanciest meal I've ever had in my life to that point, no exaggeration. We watched a movie afterwards and talked a ton. We again got into deep stuff, and it's weird like we've know
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 22
    The other aspect was getting the super important stuff out of the way, like where do we want to be long-term, what kind of life would we want to live, what role for our partners. Him considering moving to Miami is probably the fairy tale story because if you ask anyone from Argentina where in the US they would want to move, it would probably mostly be LA and Miami. A lot of the Latinos in NYC are from central America or the islands. Miami it feels like is more Cubans, Venezolanos, and Argentinia
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 23
    Tuesday we actually went out to a little park date and walk around the area too. And similar we talked about what we are and what we want to be. I know he's probably annoyed by it, but I asked him if like these are dates and if not can I take him on one, and he said they're like "date zero" and that he will take me out on a true first date the next day. We talked about like what we would look like as far as dating, because I am here until halfway through December and then I go back to Buenos Air
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 24
    He was open to distance which was something I was dreading, because a lot of people aren't into that and so I was afraid he'd say like oh we can date again when you're back in the USA. I probably won't get lucky and get a project in the USA again to be honest, at least not New York. He said if it gets to that point we can talk vacation visas and he can visit me for a few months since timezone is similar and his job is remote-flexible. He is going to visit Miami again in a few weeks and invited m
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 25
    Today was our "first" date and I know the commentary will be to slow down, but yeah I am truly in love with my pen pal more than I thought I could be. He picked me up with flowers. He rightly assumed I didn't have anything to put them in either and had a glass thing I forget the word for to hold them. He got me a dress from Reformation which I had mentioned all the rich foreign workers in my office wear. Like I mentioned it once in like thousands of things I've said over the past few days and id
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 26
    The dinner was one of those things you see on TV. Like literally it was from the old guy that had a guest appearance on the Bear. I mentioned to him I was watching and he said he wouldn't spoil it, but that one day maybe he could spoil me, and I didn't realize one day would be today. I also didn't know food got that fancy. We then went to see a broadway show and that was on my bucket list for my time in New York. Hadestown has an Argentine lead and so he booked that and I'm like WOW first of all
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 27
    And then he dropped me back off at my place and I have spent the past few hours laying in bed texting my mom and friends. I feel an immense amount of guilt that he spends this much on me. Like I even asked him if he does this for all the girls he dates, and he says no way it's not good dating in NYC and that he usually does coffee or lunch dates at most. It makes me feel so special and I was telling my mom and she said that if it works out, one day we will have kids and it won't matter what happ
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 28
    I will eventually post a follow-up question because there's so much I don't know how to wrap my mind around. Like if I do try and follow to Miami on a visa, it won't be a work one, so I'll not be allowed to make money and I'd be entirely dependent on him and that makes me feel guiltier. If he visits me, will I actually feel more in control? Do I want or need to? Or am I okay with things if he is okay with it? I also need like sedatives. I don't know how to get urges out of my mind because I neve
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 29
    Also his boss is like a 50 year old lady with kids in college who he admits is like a mother figure for him. She actually turned down his application when he first applied to his company, but when the person they selected backed out, they came back to him even though he was a fresh grad and inexperienced. She's been a corporate finance leader for years and is CFO there. She helped him buy his apartment, wants to start a business and hire him in Miami, and has invited him out to vacations.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 30
    He thinks it's because she knows he doesn't have family and would otherwise spend Christmas and stuff alone. I don't mean to imply there's anything inappropriate there, I really don't think there is, but I am jealous of her as she's super smart and successful and of him because he has a mentor that pushes him every day while I do not and I don't think any of my peers do.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 31
    I also have in the back of my mind like why wouldn't he just date someone like himself, someone super ambitious and similar to one of the leaders I work with? Wouldn't he make a lot more combined income and be more comfortable and be able to be fancy every day vs every once in a while? Her husband is also in finance and makes a lot, like he could have that? Why date an Argentinian architect who doesn't want to work for the Gensler or AECOM type companies where you can actually make good money? A
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush
  • 32
    Comments HarvardOnTheRaritan The guy is 100% committed to you and definitely doesn't care where you work or how much you make. The only problems you're going to have are your visa and his marriage to his job. Not the worst problems to have.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush, u/HarvardOnTheRaritan
  • 33
    Regular_Front9367 Yes. He. Truely. Is. 100. %. Commited. Holy. Am. Jealous. OOP: I really hope so. He does work a lot. Like he'll take calls at 7am in the gym and at 8pm at home. But he can also take time in the middle of the day to run some chores. Hopefully I can be co-prioritized with work if we get to that phase. I.
    via u/SharkEva, u/ThrowRA_penpalcrush, u/Regular_Front9367
  • 34
    Lunalovebug6.5d I'm in love with this story and I'm so happy for the OP. I want her to marry this man and raise a household of sweet little babies in Miami!! ... Reply 299
    via u/Lunalovebug6
  • 35
    dramamanorama • 5d This is almost movie like. I had a pen pal when I was 10 and mine was the only one that lasted all year amongst my classmates and it was the best. 10 yo me was so kicked that I had a special friend. Even as an older teen I knew that he and I were just not at all similar and it was really just child like innocence more than anything but when I'm feeling nostalgic, I read all the letters again and laugh about 10 yo and her idea of stories and news.
    via u/dramamanorama
  • 36
    OP deserves love. Everyone does, but OP is just so sincere. It's beautiful. Also, Argentina really really is in a bad way and architects are shockingly badly paid and if this boy wants to spoil her, I can see why she would be so so so uncomfortable but I hope they figure out a nice balance between them. Reply 116
    via u/dramamanorama
  • 37
    ProseccoSucker69 • 4d Okay I'm jaded I think...I just was thinking 'ooof love bombing' the whole time I was reading. Like he has an out for this since she is has a date she has to move back to Argentina. But everyone else is swooning about it lol maybe I'm the problem. ... Reply 56
    via u/ProseccoSucker69
  • 38
    ainzee1 4d • No I totally get it too. I'm gonna be charitable to the guy and and say he's probably just swept up in all this and trying to make their time together really special, but the amount of spending and gift giving here was giving me secondhand anxiety and it seems like it's causing some anxiety for OOP as well. I hope that she can communicate that and the two of them can work things out to be a little more equitable but as is it feels like he's fostering a bit of a dependence on him tha
    via u/ainzee1
  • 39
    Gothic Gingerbread • 4d I'm pretty sure that it also has at least something to do with the fact that she's from Argentina, which has a terrible economy, and (as she said) is apparently being paid Argentina wages while living in NYC. That means she's on a very tight budget, and he's clearly not. When I lived in Russia (25 years ago), I had a budget that, in the US, would have been very, very tight; in Russia, however, I was able to basically buy whatever struck my fancy. I often bought things for
    via u/GothicGingerbread
  • 40
    Also, OOP has had feelings for him for years; there's no reason why he can't have had feelings for her for years, too. More than that, I think it's actually very likely, given that he persisted in regularly writing, emailing, video chatting, and calling her for years, starting when he was a kid. ← 25
    via u/GothicGingerbread
  • 41
    UnderstandingBusy829 • 3d I was definitely thinking if the stuff was actually expensive, or if it only seemed expensive to OOP, because she's used to lower wages etc. Maybe it's completely affordable and no problem for the guy. He's also apparently longer out of school, so likely further in his career too. I do hope he's just being really kind.
    via u/UnderstandingBusy829
  • 42
    oracleofwifi • 4d I was equally as jaded haha but I think the key is that it's gifts where the meaning is important (like the dress where he remembered the brand she mentioned offhand). But stiiiiiIIIIII.... it's definitely pretty intense! ... ← D 87 ♡
    via u/oracleofwifi

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